Ren trolls Rocko
by xandermartin98
Summary: Ren from the Ren & Stimpy Show decides to troll Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life over the phone, and crazy stuff ends up happening.


Ren Hoek was currently the president of Cartoon Animal Earth, and he sure was enjoying his incredibly corrupt position of power.

He harbored an intense, somewhat hypocritical, and quite frankly ill-founded dislike (partly due to pent-up jealousy) of his critically acclaimed and beloved sister show Rocko's Modern Life.

Therefore, he decided to troll Rocko over the phone.

Rocko heard his telephone ringing and picked up the receiver.  
"Hello, this is Rocko's house. Who's calling?" Rocko asked.

"It's me, your old pal Ren." Ren answered. "Just wanted to let you know that your show SUCKS EGGS ON ICE!"

"DOES NOT!" Rocko argued.

"Oh really?" Ren argued. "Then why does it have a crappy-looking, inferior, watered-down, sad mockery of MY animation style?"

"Because it was made by the same animation studio that your show was handed over to after your show jumped the shark!" Rocko explained. "For crying out loud, no need to be so pancake-flipping butthurt all the time! You remind me way too much of your creator!"

"Oh, and that reminds me of another thing I wanted to complain about!" Ren replied. "Your show tries way too hard to be edgy and ultimately falls flat on its face!"

"OH, LOOK WHO'S FLIPPING TALKING!" Rocko yelled. "Sure, my show was admittedly trying pretty hard to be weird and edgy, but for God's sake it wasn't trying nearly as hard as YOURS was!"

"Well, what about the fact that your show has almost completely one-dimensional characters with the exception of you and maybe Heffer and Filburt?" Ren snapped.

"Okay, look, Ren, you're being a complete hypocrite again!" Rocko yelled. "Of course my show's characters didn't have the same level of depth as the ones on less comedy-oriented shows! Oh, and don't you go hating on Heffer's backstory! He's my best friend! I get to decide whether he's one-dimensional! Well, I guess he kind of is, but...THAT'S NOT THE REAL POINT HERE!  
"What is the point behind all this nonsense, Ren? Are you calling me just to troll me and hate on me? Go away, you bully!"

"Make me." Ren teased.

"You're playing with fire, Ren!" Rocko sneered angrily.

"YOU...USE WAY TOO MUCH GROSS OUT HUMOR!" Ren yelled.

"Again, YOU DO TOO, YOU FLIPPING HYPOCRITICAL DIMWIT, YOU!" Rocko yelled back.

"YOUR SHOW IS NOTHING MORE THAN A HORRIBLE OVERRATED SUBPAR RIPOFF OF MY VASTLY SUPERIOR SHAKESPEAREAN MASTERPIECE!" Ren screamed at the top of his lungs. "SHAME ON YOU! SHAME! ON! YOU!"

"Um...no." Rocko replied as calmly as he could manage.  
"My show may have heavily borrowed a few elements from yours, but it was a brilliant satire of modern life and had charm and humor that teenagers could easily fall in love with the same way that younger kids fell in love with the more popular, less sophisticated Nicktoons.  
"Also, are you seriously calling your show a Shakespearean masterpiece? SERIOUSLY? At the very least, you have just as bad of an ego problem as your creator. Personally, I think you might need therapy. Look, I've enjoyed both my show and yours, and I think that there's no need for you to get so comically butthurt just because I don't agree with you."

"Oh, and did I forget to mention...your theme song is ATROCIOUS!" Ren bitterly flamed.

"Oh, come on, my actual SHOW was leagues better than yours, admit it." Rocko teased. "And what about the actual intro itself, huh? That was actually pretty epic. Can we please just agree to disagree?"

Ren's eyes opened wide as he realized what he had been scheming to do this whole time.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME!? DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH!?" Ren screamed at Rocko through the phone.

With that being said, Ren looked over at the shiny red button on his desk and slammed it with his fist. The entire Australia section of the Earth exploded.

Ren started laughing maniacally. "HA HA HA! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! OHH HO HO HOO! OHH HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHA HAAH!"

"Why you...YOU CHEAP LITTLE ROTTER! You just killed my parents!" Rocko yelled back at him through the phone. "You'll pay for that!"

"Ooh, I'm SO SCARED..." Ren teased.

Rocko pounced right through the zigzag line that was separating him from Ren's end of the phone line and pinned Ren onto the ground.

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME A GOOD REASON WHY YOU DID THAT, OR ELSE I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BARE WALLABY HANDS! DO YOU HEAR ME!?" Rocko screamed. "YOU DO KNOW THAT I AM ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY STRONGER THAN YOU, RIGHT!?"

"Well, duh!" Ren sobbed, breaking out into tears. "Practically ANYONE is physically stronger than me. I'm just a no-good wimp...please, I'm sorry for what I did, I apologize...is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"Well, can you use cartoon logic to make Australia and everyone there exist again in the next day of our lives?" Rocko desparately asked, loosening his grip on Ren's throat.

"Why, YES! THERE IS! THERE IS!" Ren replied happily, leaping back up onto his feet. "However, I'll have to do it while you're asleep."

"Is there any specific reason why?" Rocko asked.

"Well, if you're awake then it won't be a surprise!" Ren answered.

"Well...okay then. Just be careful. I've got to return to work tomorrow morning." Rocko explained.

THAT NIGHT, AT ABOUT 11:30, EASTERN STANDARD TIME...

"Okay!" Ren whispered to himself, rubbing his hands together and grinning suspiciously while hiding in front of Rocko's living room window with a video camera. "I think I learned this trick from the Rocko's Modern Life episode _Camera Shy_! He hasn't learned a thing! He still doesn't have blinds on his living room window!  
"According to Heffer and Filburt, at about this time, Rocko walks down this staircase COMPLETELY NAKED! WITH NO CLOTHES ON! HA! And only for a glass of milk! Heh heh heh, ohh, this is gonna be too easy...hee hee...  
"Oh yes, here we go!"

At that moment, Rocko was nude descending a staircase (pun intended).

"Oh my dear sweet lord, this is priceless!" Ren chuckled silently. "Who knew wallabies could be so awkwardly attractive without even being aware of it?"

Rocko reached the bottom of the staircase, went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and drank some milk straight from the carton.

"I SEE YOUR BUTT!" Ren suddenly yelled for no apparent reason.

Rocko immediately turned around to see if there was someone there.  
"Hmm, no one there...guess it was just my imagination..." He yawned and clumsily walked back up the staircase.

Ren's body was pressed up against the wall right next to Rocko's living room window, and Ren's face was frozen with fear. Once he confirmed that the coast was clear, Ren sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Phew...that sure was a close one." Ren whispered to himself.

THE NEXT MORNING...

Rocko called Ren on the phone. "Hey, I just wanted you to know that I just got a phone call from my loving mom and dad! Thank you so much for bringing Australia back, mate."

"No problem, mate. Heh heh..." Ren cackled.

"What's the mischievous laugh all about?" Rocko asked.

ONE DAY LATER...

Rocko picked up the newspaper, and his eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets as he spat out his coffee when he saw what was on the headline: ROCKO FILMED NAKED AGAIN

"WHAT?!" Rocko screamed. He began to panic and fell into a nervous breakdown, he was so terrified and humiliated. Resisting the urge to rip the newspaper apart, he read into it and saw that Ren was the perpetrator.

"RENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Rocko screamed, getting down on his knees and melodramatically screaming to the heavens at the top of his lungs.

THE END


End file.
